Saturday, January 7, 2012

De Gay ..... We Ez So So Vain

While some have found this article disturbing as to what can be inferred and now somewhat studied in regards to gay and bi men when it comes to body image, I found it a bit amusing because, well, been there done that.

Back in the 70's when I first started going to gay bars, body image wasn't all that important although men with beard or mustache (I had a beard) were sought after, in fact bears (as in the photo not of today's older nor fat type) were prized trophies.

Those who were all self-obsessed with their body image the collective we called body queens. And because they wouldn't give the time of day to those who were not the same they often became the butt of jokes. Seeing them strut in, looking at themselves in the mirrors that usually were on one or more walls in the bar and ever touching and fixing their hair in the bathroom, often they ended up leaving strutting out as they came in.

In one bar which I frequented in nearby New York State in the juke box was always kept Carly Simon's song Your So Vain. After a body queen would come in and start doing his usual struting around like a male peacock for a clone of himself, someone, often me, would put a quarter in the juke and Carly would start singing. If the body queen didn't get the message many of us would start to sing along while looking and pointing at this intruder to our turf. Eventually he'd get the point and leave often yelling expletives at us.

Into the 80's body image style changed and then more and more of de gay pumped up, beards (I still kept mine) lost favor and an increase of Bic razors and shaving creme were being bought and parts of the body once unknown to razor burn were assaulted.

I myself eventually got into the pumping up to some extent but never contributed to the coffers of razor blade nor shaving creme manufacturers. As I got older I did learn a thing or two about pumping up and something I'd like to share with all of those today who are into the all important body image of "what makes de perfect gay".

There will come a time in your life when things unpump or if still pumping after a particular age you look absolutely ridiculous with an older man's body with very grizzly and drooping chest muscles. Those pecs you're so damn proud of and can bounce in tandem or singularly will become man boobies and those abs will become more the shape of a keg rather than a six pack.

While even for myself it has taken a while, long while to age with dignity and grace and yes I still have periods of "I use to look like that" moments, my maturity of mind does set in. There was a time I wore a Speedo and a man's version of a thong for a jock strap. But today I know better than to try to relive my youth because the same "built as a brick house" bod just ain't there anymore. And I'm sorry but I do laugh at those who still try after they get into their 40's and beyond.

So body queens enjoy your spectacular bods while you're young. But remember it eventually does come to an end once age and gravity takes over and you have boobies and a gut. Then try to age gracefully and look forward to those who like today's version of bear.

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