Sixteen Years After Ellen Comes Out

Sixteen years ago I was in my 40's and in the closet as a bi-guy when something extraordinary happened.

Comic and TV sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres came out, loud and clear that she was a lesbian.

It was still a time when those words dare not be spoken by many much less in homophobic Hollywood where for decades the LG&B kept the closet door locked not only by themselves but by agents, studios and PR departments.

Careers were on the line with the fear of the public finding out the true sexual identity of their favorite stars.

Many said at the time Ellen had just taken a poison pill in regards to her professional career as a comic and actor. That the life of celebrity which she so enjoyed was over.

But as they say the rest is history.

Perhaps it was the right time for the right person to declare who they are.

Perhaps we as a Country were, although still infants in understanding, able to accept that, yes there are queers that we know, even ones we invite into our home once a week.

Fast forward to today where this writer is five months away from turning 60, is no longer in the closet about being bi, albeit I don't wear it on my sleeve, and Ellen well she's doing just fine thank you very much.

I've seen much over these decades of my life, more than I could ever hope for being LGBT, while we of course still have some miles to go as far as total Equality in regards to law and religion plus total acceptance by the still closed minded.

While laws can be changed, religion and closed minds are another thing, venues of which after awhile it makes no sense to continue to seek change when change in those respects are futile and it makes more sense to change what and who can be.

You can't change the spots of a leopard, to continue to try is a waste of time and energy.

Over the past couple of months I conducted my own "social experiment" by inviting folks I work with to "friend" me on Facebook ... most would probably LMAO at now finding they have been part of an experiment. That experiment has proved one thing which I have written about several times over these past six years of writing.

I'm the same person you knew before you found out.

All, some probably twenty or so by now, have not changed their outward ways to me at work, and more importantly none have "unfriended" me on Facebook.

It could be said it's because of my age, the fact many are from a younger generation who are more "accepting" or it could just be that perhaps finally in the grand scheme of things, who cares.

As the old cigarette slogan went, for Ellen, myself and countless others, "you've come a long way baby".

Boomer Memories Queering Your TV

A blog I came across a few weeks ago is a must read for gay and bi boomers as it takes a look back at TV programs which not intentionally geared toward de gay made puberty a lot more interesting before the collective we had any idea which side(s) of the road we were headed.

The blog Boomer Beefcake and Bonding goes into great detail outlining TV programs and actors, young and old, and how subtle and sometimes otherwise led fellas to .. well sometimes have wet dreams and then some.

The blog is not explicit in nature so if you're looking for that kind of material .. forget about it.

It takes a sentimental stroll down memory lane through TV-land from Batman to Flipper to Dr. Kildare and everything in between.

The blog is written by author Jeffery P. Dennis who has written several books and articles on the queering of American culture through the media and movies.

The blog along with the postings is put into actor categories so one can look up their favorite actor as written within the blog.

Another fun blog which looks at all things queer in movies and the media is Movie Dearest written by Kirby who along with the aforementioned puts out four other blogs about de gay.

So if you're looking to add some new blogs to your favorites check out the two mentioned above.

In the immortal words of Robin "Holy stuffed jockstrap Batman".

Marilyn Monroe A Lesbian

GayStarNews on Sunday ran an article about Norma Jean, Hollywood's famous Marilyn Monroe in which in a new "tell all book" tells of one of Hollywood's most famous and yet tragic figures, that Monroe was a closeted lesbian which may help explain some of her inner demons and foibles.

In Marilyn Monroe: Private And Undisclosed, writer Michelle Morgan reveals the star's complex and even tortured story. A struggle with the sex symbol icon that, in fact, seems to have trapped her.

Referring to transcripts used by Morgan for her book, These testimonies are also corroborated by the taped transcripts of Monroe’s sessions with Dr Ralph Greenson, the psychoanalyst she saw towards the end of her life.

In the session transcripts Monroe also admitted to having sexual encounters with actresses Joan Crawford, Barbara Stanwyck, Marlene Dietrich and Elizabeth Taylor.

Shortly before Monroe signed with Columbia Pictures in 1948, she met Natasha Lytess, with whom she seemed to have had a love relationship.

Monroe told her close friend, actor Ted Jordan, that she and Natasha were sleeping together: ‘Why not?’ she said. ‘Sex is something you do with people you like. What could be wrong with a natural act?’

Of course we most likely will never know what is truth and fiction as is always the case in these "tell all books" when all of those writtten about are gone and aren't around to pursue legal action for untruths but if the truth about Monroe is accurate it may help explain one of the reasons for her too early demise and suicide.

And adds even more mystique to the legend that was Marilyn Monroe.

Brad Davis' Hollywood Secret

In early September 1991 Brad Davis gave up his battle with AIDS. The handsome actor who came to prominence in the 1978 film Midnight Express had been keeping a career ending secret for by then almost six years. He was 41 years young when he died.

In 1985 Davis had been diagnosed with being HIV-positive which according to his wife Susan Bluestein, a casting director in Hollywood, was caused from his use of drugs after his career started to take off with his Golden Globe award winning portrayal of Billy Hayes in Midnight Express. After several years of drug use and excessive drinking Davis cleaned up and got sober in 1981.

1985 was the same year that legendary actor Rock Hudson died of AIDS which brought HIV/AIDS to the forefront in news coverage and put a familiar face on the "gay plague" which then caused Hollywood to become a champion of the HIV/AIDS cause with fundraising efforts spearhead by many but in particular Elizabeth Taylor.

But that notoriety of the disease also came at a cost for actors and actresses, as while Hollywood became a champion it also became a devastator of careers if it were found out members of the acting community were diagnosed HIV-positive or had full blown AIDS.

In true Hollywood fashion, the studios and executives who held actors' careers in their hands, Hollywood went beyond the old studio days of hiding ones sexual preference or identity through its PR department to flat out turning their back on their own which caused those who were gay, lesbian or bisexual to stay further in the closet and those who, whether straight or LGB, suffered from HIV or AIDS to not only get in the closet but lock it and hope no one would ever find the key.

"We do give money to AIDS and the homeless and the blind. But we're not obligated to hire the victims of the various diseases or causes we support. It all boils down to business . . . dollars and cents . . . and those with an illness or the potential for becoming ill are an economic risk." a quote from a well known but "anonymous" Hollywood producer in an article the LA Times published in 1991 two weeks after Davis passed.

In a 1997 interview with New York Times writer Alex Witchel, Davis' wife described the great pains he went to seeking medical help only allowing doctors to visit him at home, ''Without the secrecy he may not have gotten better medical care, but earlier medical care,'' she said. ''It might have given him a little longer time and better quality of life. We became so isolated. He let a lot of friendships go. He was afraid certain people would pick up on some things. Our world shrank to the bare bones." In order to hide his illness Witchel wrote that Davis didn't buy prescriptions in his name but was supplied with prescription "leftovers" from others after they died.

Davis was going to write a book about his ordeal of working in Hollywood and having to keep secret his illness. While he died before he could accomplish that his wife did write a book using Davis' book proposal as the basis for her book, After Midnight: The Life and Death of Brad Davis.

In the proposal Davis wrote the following which speaks volumes of how Hollywood was then and some might ask "still is ?"

''I make my money in an industry that professes to care very much about the fight against AIDS -- that gives umpteem benefits and charity affairs with proceeds going to research and care -- but in actual fact, if an actor is even rumored to have H.I.V., he gets no support on an individual basis. He does not work.''

de Hollywood Gay Series

On previous versions of Focus On The Rainbow which appeared at Hearst Newspapers, OutLoudBlogs and a stand-alone version (now all deleted unfortunately) I ran an off and on series of postings about de gay in Hollywood and how "progressive" Hollywood treated members of their own for being out or forced them stay in the closet because of studio bottom lines.

These postings won't be ones of gossip, but instead using archival news sources to show how Hollywood turned its back on LGB actors and actresses while many in power were LGB themselves.

"Box office poison" is how out or perceived to be gay actors were treated and can we say in the grand scheme of things while today we do have out and proud Thespians, has the glass ceiling really been broken for the out and proud of Hollywood while others stay in the closet to continue to work.

Included in the series will be "success stories" of some actors as they have overcome their personal challenges (such as Bai Ling) but most of the writings will take a look at the darker side of Hollywood's past (and in some case present) where one can sit and wonder aloud, has anything really changed.

The postings have a special link to all postings in the series in the banner header at the top of this blog. The first posting and subject is Brad Davis the star of the film Midnight Express who had AIDS and had to hide that fact in order to work.

Below are two videos from Joe Soto about "The Gay Mafia", pro-gay campaigns and the "corporate takeover" of de gay for profiteering under the guise of "being gay friendly".

Bai Ling Survivor And Bisexual

I became enchanted with Bai Ling when I saw her opposite Richard Gere in the movie Red Corner in which she portrayed Gere's defense attorney in a murder trial in China.

Her range of acting in the film went from subdued and obedient follower of Chinese law and politics to one of defiance when she realizes Gere's character is being railroaded and framed for a murder he didn't commit and her character becomes an activist of sorts against the Chinese court system, its secrecy and the way it handles those accused, guilty until proven innocent.

I had lost track of Ling until she appeared on the reality TV show Celebrity Rehab on VH1. When she first appeared I was not only shocked but saddened as to what had happened to this wonderful actress since making Red Corner.

As she said on the show “When I drink champagne, everyone is my friend. I'm allergic to alcohol, I shouldn't even drink at all. I feel dangerous and scared and I need help.”

What came out of that rehab was being able to combat the past deep seeded demons of sexual abuse by her military superiors when she was a teenager and in the People's Liberation Army. Not only was she sexually abused but became pregnant and underwent an abortion according to an interview she did with the Associated Press in 2011. "Because of the Chinese culture of obedience, you don't ask questions. ... You follow and obey."

Because she can now discuss that very dark period of her life she is now helping others through the organization LACF according to a press release earlier this year, She will be speaking with women and young girls, who have or are currently dealing with sexual abuse, in groups.

Bai Ling hopes to be able to pull from her own personal experiences to help those who are suffering move forward with their lives and have confidence that they no longer need to fear their abusers. She plans to share the details that she can from her own obstacles and how she’s worked to overcome them, offering inspiration to those who need it most.

For those of us in the LGBT community, in particular those who like myself are bisexual, for her to be open about her sexuality will be inspiring. But it is equally, if not more important that Bai Ling can help so many others learning of her ordeal with sexual abuse and becoming a survivor.

And by staying sober help many more. While this may put pressure on Ling to keep all of her demons in check, it may also help her in that difficult task.

In this age of celebrity and the pitfalls which can come with it, right now, perhaps more than ever, we the "fans" have found someone we can root for in her continuing success both personal and career and be damn proud of the fact Bai Ling is one of us.

The Need To Find de Queerness

I was checking out my friend and fellow blogger Michael-in-Norfolk and when reading this posting it made my eyebrows rise up like Mr. Spock's (they actually do without realizing it as has been pointed out by people for years and when I'm perplexed by dumbasterey).

Not that I'm picking on my friend but the fella he copy/pastes a "film critic" at Towelhead .. uh sorry Towleroad and how said critic points out that the 1927 movie Wings has homoerotic moments.

Nathaniel Rogers the "film critic" in question finds several reasons for finding queerness in the movie which was the first film given the Academy Award for Best Picture.

The use in "dialog" of "you've got game" and "powder puff guys" but most of all because of the clip below. Has Rogers never had such a close friendship with another man that when that man is dying he would overtly embrace and give his dying friend a kiss. Or are all of his "friendships" more relationships and sexual in nature ?

I have and if I had been at the home of my best friend, soul-mate and as close to having a brother without being one when he had a massive coronary and died going on six years now I most likely would have reacted much the same way as depicted in the film clip.

Are people like Rogers and others so desperate and frankly pathetic, to find queerness in things ? If the point was just being made that this was "the first kiss" of one man to another in a film that would be fine. But to automatically make the scene one of de gay and as Michael compares it to Brokeback Mountain, for this writer it's a stretch and a very long one at that.

Shit if that's the case as de BI in the room then I'll look at the photo in this posting and shout out for y'all to hear ... LOOK Wings is about Bisexuals !